Not quite the tattoo I wanted

The last hurdle

So today I had my radiotherapy consultation! 

Was a bit different. As soon as I entered the hospital I got a thermometer stuck in my ear, and a mask tried to put on my face before I could even point out that I had one on! 

The whole purpose of this appointment was to go through the basics of what to expect. I had briefly spoken to someone on the phone about radiotherapy over the last few weeks and to which I gave my consent but I needed to physically go in the hospital today. They wanted to check my wound from my mastectomy and then also do some tattoo for reference points. 

So apparently, they are changing the duration of treatment for breast cancer patients. Originally you would have between 15 and 20 sessions spread out over 3/4 weeks on Monday-Friday. But they want to condense it down into smaller sessions. The pros of that are it’s done quicker, less time at the hospital especially in this Coronavirus situation. The cons, are it is a much stronger dose of radiotherapy, so the side effects are stronger. 

The main side effects of the radiotherapy :

• Tiredness 
• Skin changes 
• Hair loss (on the area being treated)
• Scarring on the lungs (due to the area being treated, there’s about 1cm of your lung that gets zapped too)
• Secondary cancer

Here are some awful pics that show you the tattooing they done! I have 3 dots! One on my left side, kind of under my armpit, one on my right side again under my armpit and one in the middle of my sternum which kind of is the beginning of my mastectomy scar. 

The reason they do the tattooing is so that every time they do radiotherapy you are lined up in the same position. As I laid on the table, they took note of all my coordinates like position of where my bum is, arms are, palm facing direction etc. 

I don’t know how I feel about radiotherapy. Especially when they said a side effect was secondary cancer. It makes me feel like I don’t want it. The only reason that they are giving me radiotherapy is because
I had 1 positive cancerous lymph node. 1. When they did my auxiliary clearance, out of how ever many they took, 1 of them was ‘damaged.’ I start properly with my sessions on 14th and 15th May then my final 3 are on the 18th/19th & 20th. 

I really don’t know how to feel! Especially the effects it’s going to have on my full wound! They said it’s perfectly fine to do, yet I feel anxious of damage to the mastectomy scar or even worse another infection. The area they are doing is the ‘chest wall’ so this entire area in the picture below. The orange circles are the scars from the drains I have had fitted, but I’m more worried about the mastectomy scar. RIP place where boob lived!