I did the chop.

So today I was absolutely in the right frame mind set to just go in and get my hair clipped short. I was absolutely fed up with just reams and reams coming out. I know it was going to fall out eventually but I was so fed up with filling my sink up. 

Plus I found my hair was just getting matted and if I tied it up, when I took the ponytail out it would just stay in that position and it was so dead. 

So I did it. 

We originally did a grade 8, but that was too long. So we took more and more off and eventually I settled for a grade 4. I think I will go smaller again. But you can see in the bottom right photo the bald patches I have that were beginning to come through. 

I’m slowly starting to get used to the feeling but it’s still shredding lots. More like a porcupine hahah but it’s easier to manage. My head was bloody cold though! 

It’s a big decision to go ahead and cut your hair short/clipper it. But it’s how I felt the process would be easier. I had originally grown my hair for our wedding, and made the decision in October to have 8inches cut off. Again, was easier for me to get used too, Erin to get used too because I didn’t want her to be scared of me. I don’t think she would, but it’s a weird thing for a 2&1/2 year old to see. Then today when I did this, when I saw Erin, she didn’t notice the hair at first and then she then realised later and said “mamas hair gone!” I said “yeah mama cut it, it’s all good!” She then said “me too!” Bless her heart. But she hasn’t acted any different, which is good! 

But I would say to anyone going through this, to really consider those changes. Because it’s easier for you to deal with when you eventually do loose your hair. 

There are amazing websites out that that show tutorials on headscarves, and I have even ordered one that is on elastic and can just go on. Saves the tying process. 

I do have a wig on its way to me, but on the days where I don’t want to wear them, I have the option of wearing a headscarf.

Unfortunately I ran out of time for my micro-bladed eyebrows, but I have been to see someone at Benefit for mapping of my brows and I have ordered some brow stuff to allow me to draw them on for days when my brows do come off. 

This is one of my headscarves that I ordered. It’s already elasticated and looks like I’ve done a fancy thing on top. I did also pick up some bargain ones from my local Macmillan in the hospital that people had donated. But I need more practice tying them before I brave them in the real world. 

Cancer.

You will not define me. 

I am glad the chemotherapy is doing what it’s doing and killing all these cells. 
As of tomorrow I am 1/4 of the way through this treatment. 

You have killed the cells that make my hair grow, but as your killing them you are killing every cancer cell that is in my body. 

I have one up, because I’ve got rid of my hair before you could. 

Let’s see what challenge is next.