2/12
05/11/19
Round 2 baby!!!! Today is just the Paclitaxol so hopefully I shouldn’t be as long down the hospital. It’s interesting the oncology ward. You’d think, it would be a quiet place where everyone looks so poorly. But it’s not. Everyone is smiling, they look friendly and it’s busy with the sound of lines going off.
The nurse came round and took an amazing history from me last week asking how I felt! I had good advice from a friend of mine to keep a notebook for each day. What medication you have to take and also how you feel both mentally and physically. So when I go see my oncologist or the nursing I can mention any weird side effects I have had! It also will help me remember what tablets I need to take. The horrible feeling that I had last week apparently is due to the fact I had a double whammy of chemo. She is confident that I will not feel as bad as I did last week, which is reassuring to hear. I did mention that the Filgratism injection leaves me very achy, which I’ve been doing in the morning. She recommended trying doing it before bed so when my body starts to ache, I will be asleep so it shouldn’t make a big difference. So this week I am going to try that, I commented that I haven’t really used the nauseous ones the back end of the week and she said don’t worry use them as and when you need it!
They flushed my line, and administered the premedication and then I felt drowsy. Bloody antihistamines! Then it was onto the chemotherapy for 1hour! All I kept thinking about was the stew I made this morning that’s bubbling away in the oven. So that definitely kept me occupied. The chemo itself didn’t seem to take that long! And before I knew it I was allowed out! I am hoping and praying my symptoms are not as bad as last week! 🤞🏼
Also the stew was amazing. I had 2 bowls 🐖
06/11/19
Today is actually a really good day. I don’t feel as nauseous/tired. I feel achy still and have noticed that my jaw is aching. Like a wisdom tooth ache. This could be due to the filgratism as it makes your bones ache apparently. But we have had a productive day and started doing a bit of Christmas shopping, which is good for me. James had some re-enactment memorial rehearsal tonight, so it allowed me to put Erin to bed and have some normality. I even did some supervision for my student over google docs this evening, which was good because we haven’t had chance to catch up where I’ve not been in work! Come 9pm time I was feeling pooped but made it awake to stay up and watch the apprentice. JUST.
07/11/19
Again. Today is feeling ok. I have an appointment today to see the heart specialist and numerous heart scans.
In a nutshell, the outcome was, I have heart failure.
Heart failure sounds really harsh and fierce but it’s like the umbrella of all underlying heart things. My left ventricle valve is not pumping as it should for a 28year old. It should be pumping about 55% but mine is around 45% pumping. Oddly enough, it all came from CT scan I had, where it showed extra fluid around my heart. I did have the flu and pneumonia jab on the Saturday prior to my appointment and he said could be why it was heightened because it’s all viral linked. But otherwise than that, I have had no symptoms whatsoever of ‘heart failure’ in my life! I’m not breathless, struggle breathing, heart always pumping, ‘obese’ (apparently I am according to my BMI height/weight combo, but I am active, go to the gym, don’t smoke, not alcohol reliant or diabetic!)
There is a strong family history of heart disease on my fathers side, as my nan passed due to heart failure. But that was more cholesterol based, so I have been referred for bloods for that as a check!
In the grand scheme of things, I’m feeling pretty healthy. So much so, that I am going out for dinner tonight with my work family.
08/11/19
Ok so maybe I spoke too soon. I am knackered today. Last nights meal was good fun, but it was a late night for me. I think I may of overdone it. My symptoms are good. I don’t have any nauseous, but my body is still aching. It’s like a flue ache, where every little bit hurts. I have been taking my injections at night time like she said, but still feeling the achy ness. I think this could be the normal for me for a few months and my body is getting used to it. The chemo is going what it is doing for a reason, and if it is killing off bad generous cells then I am all for it.
I am going to go into work today and see what I can do. I think I will go over to the lab and do some work there because working in the lab enables me to still be working, and it means I can sit on a stool and work on one machine. I’m so glad I’m multi talented at work and trained in the lab. Normally a lab tech makes glasses and drinks tea, but since chemotherapy I have actually not been able to enjoy hot drinks. It is bizarre. It’s like it has changed my taste buds, as I am always prone to a cuppa tea. But now I can’t enjoy them! I managed to work 9-4 today, not quite a full day. But I feel like I’ve accomplished something!
09/11/19
Today was a struggle. I cried a lot today. Mentally and physically today was not good. Erin has been a Typical 2year old and has pushed me too much. I am absolutely knackered and I have a cold/chesty thing too. James is at work today, it’s my mums birthday and we have a lunch meal booked at 1! Erin fought every opportunity for a nap unless it was on her terms. Thankfully, she did have one. Once I wrestled her to get in my bed as mummy needed a nap too.
It’s hard when the other half is at work, I have definitely noticed that today has taken a toll on me. She has pushed me to tears and there’s nothing I can do. I just have to get on with it and keep going. I can’t wait for james to finish work so I have someone to hug.
My symptoms today, were crap. I think it was a mixture of everything. Tired from work yesterday, got a nasty chesty cold thing going on, and my body just not allowing me to run around with Erin like I normally would! I hope this bloody chesty thing goes away and it doesn’t stop me having chemo on Tuesday!
10/11/19
Today I feel rubbish. Not chemo related, more cold/chest. I was up a lot of the night coughing up some rubbish feel a bit knackered for that reason. I am off to work today, but I am planning on catching up with some admin stuff to make it easier. My mum will be having Erin for the day as she normally does on sundays and james is going his Remembrance Sunday re-enactment. It’s nice that at work today I can hide away in the office and do the admin things I don’t normally get to do! The chemotherapy body aches are still here, potentially heightened by the fact that I have a cold.
I haven’t taken any nausea tablets and haven’t been sick this week, so this is definitely a good thing for me! I’m hoping that when I do have the single dose of chemotherapy this is the normal for me because this is far more manageable! I know that if and when I’ll be having the ‘EC’ my symptoms are supposedly worse, but they will be spread out every 3/4 weeks. So I’m hoping more normal days. I have noticed that my hair is starting to fall out a lot more. When I brush it, it seems like loads is coming out. Probably isn’t happening just yet, but I am aware that my scalp is tender and uncomfortable. I’m not sure when hair loss happens when taking ‘Taxol’ chemotherapy but I guess it will happen at some point and it will vary for everyone else. I am know immediately regretting not getting my eyebrows micro-bladed prior to chemotherapy, but it was an expense I couldn’t afford. I am going to ask my oncologist about the potential of getting it done. I know some people who have had it during chemo, but I understand the risks. I have a follow up appointment with her next Monday so I’m going to ask her then!
11/11/19
Today marks another day spent at the hospital. I had to have a kidney GFR test today. They do this to check the kidney function during chemotherapy! I had to have an injection of radioactive dye, and then bloods taken 2hours later and then 4hours later. So it was a long day spent at the hospital! Symptoms wise I’m feeling okay, nothing too exciting. I still have an awful chesty cough so I’m hoping it won’t affect my chemo tomorrow and my white bloods are okay and up to standard. But apart from the usual feeling knackered, I’m ok!
Round 2 baby!!!! Today is just the Paclitaxol so hopefully I shouldn’t be as long down the hospital. It’s interesting the oncology ward. You’d think, it would be a quiet place where everyone looks so poorly. But it’s not. Everyone is smiling, they look friendly and it’s busy with the sound of lines going off.
They flushed my line, and administered the premedication and then I felt drowsy. Bloody antihistamines! Then it was onto the chemotherapy for 1hour! All I kept thinking about was the stew I made this morning that’s bubbling away in the oven. So that definitely kept me occupied. The chemo itself didn’t seem to take that long! And before I knew it I was allowed out! I am hoping and praying my symptoms are not as bad as last week! 🤞🏼
Also the stew was amazing. I had 2 bowls 🐖
06/11/19
Today is actually a really good day. I don’t feel as nauseous/tired. I feel achy still and have noticed that my jaw is aching. Like a wisdom tooth ache. This could be due to the filgratism as it makes your bones ache apparently. But we have had a productive day and started doing a bit of Christmas shopping, which is good for me. James had some re-enactment memorial rehearsal tonight, so it allowed me to put Erin to bed and have some normality. I even did some supervision for my student over google docs this evening, which was good because we haven’t had chance to catch up where I’ve not been in work! Come 9pm time I was feeling pooped but made it awake to stay up and watch the apprentice. JUST.
07/11/19
Again. Today is feeling ok. I have an appointment today to see the heart specialist and numerous heart scans.
In a nutshell, the outcome was, I have heart failure.
Heart failure sounds really harsh and fierce but it’s like the umbrella of all underlying heart things. My left ventricle valve is not pumping as it should for a 28year old. It should be pumping about 55% but mine is around 45% pumping. Oddly enough, it all came from CT scan I had, where it showed extra fluid around my heart. I did have the flu and pneumonia jab on the Saturday prior to my appointment and he said could be why it was heightened because it’s all viral linked. But otherwise than that, I have had no symptoms whatsoever of ‘heart failure’ in my life! I’m not breathless, struggle breathing, heart always pumping, ‘obese’ (apparently I am according to my BMI height/weight combo, but I am active, go to the gym, don’t smoke, not alcohol reliant or diabetic!)
There is a strong family history of heart disease on my fathers side, as my nan passed due to heart failure. But that was more cholesterol based, so I have been referred for bloods for that as a check!
In the grand scheme of things, I’m feeling pretty healthy. So much so, that I am going out for dinner tonight with my work family.
08/11/19
Ok so maybe I spoke too soon. I am knackered today. Last nights meal was good fun, but it was a late night for me. I think I may of overdone it. My symptoms are good. I don’t have any nauseous, but my body is still aching. It’s like a flue ache, where every little bit hurts. I have been taking my injections at night time like she said, but still feeling the achy ness. I think this could be the normal for me for a few months and my body is getting used to it. The chemo is going what it is doing for a reason, and if it is killing off bad generous cells then I am all for it.
I am going to go into work today and see what I can do. I think I will go over to the lab and do some work there because working in the lab enables me to still be working, and it means I can sit on a stool and work on one machine. I’m so glad I’m multi talented at work and trained in the lab. Normally a lab tech makes glasses and drinks tea, but since chemotherapy I have actually not been able to enjoy hot drinks. It is bizarre. It’s like it has changed my taste buds, as I am always prone to a cuppa tea. But now I can’t enjoy them! I managed to work 9-4 today, not quite a full day. But I feel like I’ve accomplished something!
09/11/19
Today was a struggle. I cried a lot today. Mentally and physically today was not good. Erin has been a Typical 2year old and has pushed me too much. I am absolutely knackered and I have a cold/chesty thing too. James is at work today, it’s my mums birthday and we have a lunch meal booked at 1! Erin fought every opportunity for a nap unless it was on her terms. Thankfully, she did have one. Once I wrestled her to get in my bed as mummy needed a nap too.
It’s hard when the other half is at work, I have definitely noticed that today has taken a toll on me. She has pushed me to tears and there’s nothing I can do. I just have to get on with it and keep going. I can’t wait for james to finish work so I have someone to hug.
My symptoms today, were crap. I think it was a mixture of everything. Tired from work yesterday, got a nasty chesty cold thing going on, and my body just not allowing me to run around with Erin like I normally would! I hope this bloody chesty thing goes away and it doesn’t stop me having chemo on Tuesday!
10/11/19
Today I feel rubbish. Not chemo related, more cold/chest. I was up a lot of the night coughing up some rubbish feel a bit knackered for that reason. I am off to work today, but I am planning on catching up with some admin stuff to make it easier. My mum will be having Erin for the day as she normally does on sundays and james is going his Remembrance Sunday re-enactment. It’s nice that at work today I can hide away in the office and do the admin things I don’t normally get to do! The chemotherapy body aches are still here, potentially heightened by the fact that I have a cold.
I haven’t taken any nausea tablets and haven’t been sick this week, so this is definitely a good thing for me! I’m hoping that when I do have the single dose of chemotherapy this is the normal for me because this is far more manageable! I know that if and when I’ll be having the ‘EC’ my symptoms are supposedly worse, but they will be spread out every 3/4 weeks. So I’m hoping more normal days. I have noticed that my hair is starting to fall out a lot more. When I brush it, it seems like loads is coming out. Probably isn’t happening just yet, but I am aware that my scalp is tender and uncomfortable. I’m not sure when hair loss happens when taking ‘Taxol’ chemotherapy but I guess it will happen at some point and it will vary for everyone else. I am know immediately regretting not getting my eyebrows micro-bladed prior to chemotherapy, but it was an expense I couldn’t afford. I am going to ask my oncologist about the potential of getting it done. I know some people who have had it during chemo, but I understand the risks. I have a follow up appointment with her next Monday so I’m going to ask her then!
11/11/19
Today marks another day spent at the hospital. I had to have a kidney GFR test today. They do this to check the kidney function during chemotherapy! I had to have an injection of radioactive dye, and then bloods taken 2hours later and then 4hours later. So it was a long day spent at the hospital! Symptoms wise I’m feeling okay, nothing too exciting. I still have an awful chesty cough so I’m hoping it won’t affect my chemo tomorrow and my white bloods are okay and up to standard. But apart from the usual feeling knackered, I’m ok!
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