Mental Health
So it’s made me think a lot about people’s mental health issues. Yesterday was mental health day. My Instagram feed was covered in people’s post about their own personal issues but it highlighted to me some rather important things.
I’m glad people are talking about their issues and people are aware more of their feelings/moods. But I sometimes think that people don’t think about what they post.
Since being diagnosed with stage 2 triple negative breast cancer my mood has turned to shit.
I have never felt so lonely but surrounded by people constantly and the constant on pouring of love is amazing.
I decided to go to the hairdressers and cut all my hair off. 7.5” to be exact because I knew that my chemotherapy is going to cause hair loss. Hurrah for loosing pubic hair though. What a saving that will be on waxing. But I’m all seriousness I am scared and I may joke about it but it’s my way of dealing with the fact I am scared shitless.
I’m scared of the sickness and side effects of chemotherapy, the tiredness, the nausea, the mouth ulcers and everything else they advice you on. How am I going to keep being me? How am I going to keep up being a cool mum and play with Erin on our days together. How am I going to be at work? Can I still work? If I can’t work, how am I going to pay Erin’s nursery fees? Am I able to pay my bills? My mortgage savings? My wedding savings?
People comment, I should cancel the wedding. Why? Surely having something positive to focus on is a good thing? Or am I taking on too much?
All the while these thoughts are spinning round and round and round my head and it’s making me feel depressed. It’s making me severely considering upping my medication. Like can I actually cope with all of this?
Feeling anxious about loosing my hair? Ok - I’ve cut lots of it off, but how on earth am I going to look without no hair? is Jim going to find me attractive? Fancy me? Will he want to kiss me, hug me, be intimate with me? Or am
I going to look like The laughing Buddha?
Going out with friends - wig days, non wig days. Feeling good about yourself in a wig. Do you really feel like yourself?
Will you feel as attractive? Because right now i don’t. I’m covered in bruises, I have a line in my arm, my hairs short, eyebrows unkept, feel uncomfortable in my skin as I am. Let alone how I will look soon.
Could I rock the headscarf? 🤷🏻♀️
My mind is a friggin minefield.
This is silly.
I’m glad people are talking about their issues and people are aware more of their feelings/moods. But I sometimes think that people don’t think about what they post.
Since being diagnosed with stage 2 triple negative breast cancer my mood has turned to shit.
I have never felt so lonely but surrounded by people constantly and the constant on pouring of love is amazing.
I decided to go to the hairdressers and cut all my hair off. 7.5” to be exact because I knew that my chemotherapy is going to cause hair loss. Hurrah for loosing pubic hair though. What a saving that will be on waxing. But I’m all seriousness I am scared and I may joke about it but it’s my way of dealing with the fact I am scared shitless.
I’m scared of the sickness and side effects of chemotherapy, the tiredness, the nausea, the mouth ulcers and everything else they advice you on. How am I going to keep being me? How am I going to keep up being a cool mum and play with Erin on our days together. How am I going to be at work? Can I still work? If I can’t work, how am I going to pay Erin’s nursery fees? Am I able to pay my bills? My mortgage savings? My wedding savings?
People comment, I should cancel the wedding. Why? Surely having something positive to focus on is a good thing? Or am I taking on too much?
All the while these thoughts are spinning round and round and round my head and it’s making me feel depressed. It’s making me severely considering upping my medication. Like can I actually cope with all of this?
Feeling anxious about loosing my hair? Ok - I’ve cut lots of it off, but how on earth am I going to look without no hair? is Jim going to find me attractive? Fancy me? Will he want to kiss me, hug me, be intimate with me? Or am
I going to look like The laughing Buddha?
Going out with friends - wig days, non wig days. Feeling good about yourself in a wig. Do you really feel like yourself?
Will you feel as attractive? Because right now i don’t. I’m covered in bruises, I have a line in my arm, my hairs short, eyebrows unkept, feel uncomfortable in my skin as I am. Let alone how I will look soon.
Could I rock the headscarf? 🤷🏻♀️
My mind is a friggin minefield.
This is silly.
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